Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Dreaded Diet

On January First, I started the two dreaded words that all fiber enthusiasts fear:  Yarn Diet.

A yarn diet is where a knitter/crocheter takes a look at their yarn stash and decides to knit down from it.  As in, "Holy crap that's a lot of yarn.  I'm going to knit from what I have and not buy anything new for a time period."  Or as my husband likes to put it, "Good God!  You have enough for a small store in there!"   The marked end of my dreaded yarn diet is the annual Webs Tent Sale, which I would only miss if I were dying.

What brought this on?  Well besides the fact that I have a lot of that fibery goodness, we are planning a big secret family trip in April.  Secret as in secret to the boys, but everyone else knows.  And I don't plan on telling the kiddos until a few weeks out.  If I could hold off the fact until we're on our way to the airport, I would, but I don't have that kind of willpower!!  Not buying any yarn is one way to save some cash for the trip.  Because yarn shopping is quite possibly my favorite thing to do.

I've had some interesting experiences in the last couple of days, and I thought I'd share:

1.  I posted something earlier about the "Podcaster's Throwdown" for donating hats.  Diving into my stash to find non-wool yarns for hats to donate has actually been kind of fun.  I've already made one and am madly working on another.  I've found things that I had forgotten I had!  I've also found a couple of things that are clearly going into the "de-stash" pile to offer to my friends at our annual De-Stash Event before the Tent Sale.  (I'm looking at you, ten skeins of charcoal-colored cotton-acrylic blend that was going to be a sweater four years ago.  What in the hell was I thinking??)

2.  When catalogs from Knitpicks or emails from Webs come, I feel like I am doing something dirty by flipping thru the catalog.  It might as well just be porn.

3.  This yarn habit really is a mild addiction.  I've been tempted to fall off the wagon more than once!  The same emails that come in with subject lines like "Yarn for You" feel like my dealer is trying to entice me and pull me back into the fold.

4.  While working on projects for others with deadlines (of course), I am dangerously running low on yarn.  These are commissioned items, and I have to finish them.  One of them the person is paying for the yarn, the other is a more-than-half-done charity item.  I had to suck it up and order a ball of yarn.  Not only that, I had to pay a ridiculous amount of shipping for one damn ball of yarn.  Totally not counting that as a slip.

5.  And perhaps the funniest example yet:  it's in my dreams.  I had a nightmare the other night that Brian and I had taken a trip to Montreal for some R+R without kids.  We ended up at a mall, and there was a yarn shop.  And every time I tried to walk in, the woman in charge would say in French, "Sorry, we're closed" and slam the door in my face.  But she let my husband in and I watched others shop.  Then I got lost while my husband went to a pub and got his drink on, and I had no knitting to entertain/calm me while I wondered where the hell he was.  I can't make this stuff up....I woke up in a foul mood.  He of course found the whole thing utterly HILARIOUS!!

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