We recently found out that our hard drive is so full, it's not backing up things anymore. So while figuring out what to do about that, Brian was going thru some of the stuff on there. He found a few videos of Will from when he was just a little older than Sean is now. I had forgotten that we made them, and they're precious. I was pregnant with Sean at the time, and we were asking Will questions like where he lives and is he going to have a baby brother, etc etc. Most of the time the camera is focused on Will, but it went to me briefly and then Brian. As it panned over me, I'm making a face.
I know that face. It's the "Ugh, why are you recording ME?" face. I'm not crazy about the camera, I'd much rather be behind it than in front of it. But you know what? I need to get over that, and I'm working on it. In the last few months, instead of a tight-lipped smile, I grin broadly. If it's a video, I stop thinking about how bad I'm looking on camera and keep doing whatever we're doing for the camera in the first place. And I do it with gusto. Because these are memories, people. I don't want to watch these videos or look at photos later and wonder why I wasn't any fun. Or in photos at all...there are plenty of photos with the kids and hubby but not too many of me. In order to fix this, I hand the camera off to Brian and say "Hey, let's make it look like Mommy went on this trip." It's a long road, but I'm in the car and making the journey.