We took it a little slower on the way home with the kids. At first we thought about traveling to Toronto for the last two days of our vacation, but after realizing it was eleven hours away and remembering the drive TO Wisconsin, it was decided unanimously just to take our sweet time getting home instead. For the most part, the boys did pretty well on the trip home, though there were some figurative bumps in the road.
With our usual road trip music queued (The RENT soundtrack, Brian develops a nasty cough during the curse words) We left Wisconsin on Thursday morning, driving through Illinois, Indiana and stopped for the night in Bryan, Ohio. On Friday morning, we headed back onto the road after breakfast and trudged across the rest of Ohio, stopping for lunch in Erie, PA and then into New York. Brian didn't want any more than 300 miles left for Saturday's drive, so we could relax a little on Sunday and unpack, etc before the reality of Monday slapped us in the face. However, as we neared the 300-mile mark, we were having trouble finding a hotel with a room for us for the night. The first hotel had no vacancy, so after a brief disagreement on which direction to go to find another, we got back on Rt. 86 east in NY to find one. That's when we realized....there was no more Rt. 86 east. We were on some country bumpkin road. No wait......we were driving into the future! That is, we were driving on "Future Rt. 86." No seriously, that's what the signs said. No wonder why we couldn't find anywhere to stay, we were time travelers! Then we really started seeing some remote areas, and to keep going in the right direction we just listened for the banjos playing. :) No hotels in this area, more like if you stopped at the gas station for directions to the hotel the attendant would say "Well, you can stay on the couch in my mom's house. She's makin' pot roast and taters for dinner!" (no this did not really happen.) BTW, as an aside, the "Future Rt. 86" signs were the second-funniest sign that we saw on the trip. The first was a huge billboard as you enter Wisconsin that said "Bong Recreation Area Ahead, Next Exit." I would've taken a picture but we were moving too quickly.
At our third hotel, I was feeling pretty discouraged, and not at all looking forward to sleeping in our car. I had been eating M&M's, and I had dropped a couple in the passenger seat. As we were pulling onto the hotel parking lot, I realized with horror that I had dropped two M&M's down my shorts!!! I tried to shake and shimmy, but only one came out. Let's add insult to injury and get melted M&M on my only pair of shorts, YES!!!! I got out of the car and it immediately plunked onto the driveway, and I was so relieved. I started to walk towards the hotel, when Brian called me back to the car to tell me something. And what he told me made me laugh so hard I could barely walk. So hard, that it just kept running through my head and making me laugh inappropriately as I booked our room for the night at the front desk:
"Hey honey? M&M's melt in your mouth, not on your ass!" :)