The Famous Mind-Numbing Pepsi Disaster

At knitting tonight, I was able to move past the pain, and tell this story.

Two Saturdays ago, my family was coming over to celebrate my parent's birthdays.  (their birthdays are close together in September) We had a simple dinner planned with two desserts and presents to cap it off.  My parents arrived first.  (which is not surprising, because my brother and sister-in-law are often late.  The baby coming next month probably will make them later, and that is totally cool)

Whenever my parents come over, I make sure to have some Pepsi on hand for my father.  I know that it's what he likes to drink, I am a good hostess, and I aim to please.  In typical fashion, my dad discovers the Pepsi in the fridge and immediately pours himself a glass.  He joins my mom and I in the living room, where I am showing off something knitty I'm sure.  Soon after, we are joined by the Big Kid.

Big Kid, fooling around and looking for attention, starts spinning around with his stuffed animal.  Then, without any rhyme or reason, he launches the stuffed animal towards my father.  He misses him, but he certainly did not miss the full glass of Pepsi!  It's Murphy's Law, people.  He couldn't hit the glass of Pepsi if he was trying but nailed it when he wasn't.  The glass tips over, spilling its contents all over my living room, and the glass careens to the floor.

At first, I'm calm.  I haven't seen it yet.  All I think that I'm in for is scrubbing Pepsi stickiness out of a rug.

Oh, hell no.  It is much, much worse than that.  To my horror, I discover that the glass is not on the floor.  It is in my canvas knitting bag.  IN MY KNITTING BAG.  ALONG WITH THE PEPSI THAT WAS IN THE GLASS.    Pepsi.  On my works-in-progress.

It was kind of like the moment in the horror movie when the woman discovers the severed head in her freezer.  I went hysterical.  No, scratch that, it's just not strong enough.  I went completely bats*%t crazy!  I start screeching and sobbing simultaneously, freaking out, thinking about what's in that bag.    A half-finished baby blanket for my Oldest Friend.  A cowl for a swap project.  Various hats.  And Ditto.  Oh my.  Ditto!  I have worked on that sweater since May.  I can NOT get those hours back.  I dump the bag onto the dining room table and start throwing the items to survey the damage.  All it takes is seeing Pepsi all over the baby blanket and it's just more than I can take.  It's overwhelmingly heartbreaking, and that's when I locked myself in the bathroom, crying.

My mom, who is a knitter, knocks on the bathroom door and asks to come in.  She asks if the blanket is made of acrylic and I said yes.  She says that she is going to tie the entire thing, on the needles and all, in a pillowcase and put it in the washer.  She leaves to start the task.  Brian comes to the door.  He has surveyed the sweater (which, like everything but the blanket, was miraculously wrapped in plastic bags) and surprise!  Not a drop of Pepsi.  I start crying all over again.  I said, "Can you do me a favor?"  He says "Get you some eye makeup remover?"  "Yeah."  That man, he knows me so well.

At this point in the story, someone in the knitting group says "Oh My God!  I just want to cry for you!  And your husband, what a great guy. He really knew how to handle the situation and calm you down.  And your mom....she rocks!  I wouldn't have thought of that!"  Well, yes.  Mom indeed does rock.  Not only did the Pepsi come out of the blanket, she and my dad wound up all the unused yarn that went a little haywire in the dryer while we were eating.  And kudos to my brother, who when I came out of the bathroom, was washing my dining room table from the Pepsi residue that I had spread during my panic.  He had been coming up my stairs with Kim when he heard me burst into tears and had no idea what was going on.  And Hubby?  He rocks too.  Every day.  But......he rocked a little less when he brought me nail polish remover to take off my eye makeup.  Good think I noticed, huh?  Talk about adding insult to injury!

All's well that ends well, and I have the best family in the world!  As for Will, he got a timeout and a long talk about throwing stuffed animals in the house.  I'm betting he won't do THAT again anytime soon. As far as Pepsi....we can still have it in the house.  Just far, far away from all this knitting.  :)