The Story of the Pre-Lit Christmas Tree

Growing up, we almost always had a fake tree.  Then my parent's tree, at twenty or so years old, fell apart.  The next year we had a real tree and it was MAGICAL!!  However, it was a lot of work and a new artificial tree was procured at the after-Christmas sales.  I always thought that I would be the kind of person who would insist on a real tree in my own home.

Well, that is just not so.  For the first few years we lived in our home (and I can't believe it's going to be NINE years this May, BTW) we had a real tree.  And we discovered just how much work a real tree is.  First, you have to buy it every year, and get it home.  Then it would sit outside until we were ready to bring it in.  Then you had to put it in a special tree stand and let it "rest" and settle it's branches.  You have to be especially careful to water it regularly and add that stuff to the water.  And make sure to keep your dog from drinking the water or they'll get really sick.  Or Horrors!  A dog will visit your home and think it's really cool that you installed an indoor doggie bathroom and take a whiz on your presents under the tree!  (We forgive you Benny, we know you'd never seen a live tree in someone's home!)  Not to mention the vacuuming, and how your vacuum starts to choke on the pine needles.  And don't even get me started on those huge bags that are supposed to make disposal easy!  What a joke!

So when my parents got a "pre-lit" Christmas tree, I thought it was a pretty good idea.  Brian was on a business trip in Texas when I found one that I liked in BJ's Wholesale.  HUGE trees come in a HUGE box, and I was alone on this shopping excursion.   Somehow I wrangled the box onto a cart, paid for it and got it outside to load into my Ford Escape.  And I wrestled that sucker into the back of the Escape, huffing and puffing the whole way and with people staring.  I was NOT going home without it!  However, when I got home, I realized that there was no way in hell that I was going to get the box up the porch stairs and into the house on my own.  Thanks to a pleading phonecall to my Dad, it was taken care of.

Then, something peculiar happened.  My parent's tree lost all its power, after one or two seasons.  Brian did his best to repair it but it was declared a lost cause.  And now, after it's fourth Christmas in our home, our tree appears to be doing the same thing.  Every day I notice that "my fabulous Christmas tree deal" is getting darker, and I'm so irritated about it I wanted to throw it out onto the front lawn and stomp on it!  (no kidding....I know someone that did that once!)  Unfortunately, I think it's destined for the trash after the season is over.  So who knows what next year will bring....a new tree?  Or will we go back to real trees?  Decisions, Decisions......