Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The Twilight Zone

It has been a frustrating couple of days.  An absolute comedy of errors, if I was watching the events unfold on TV I'd probably laugh.

I ran out of toner at work yesterday.  I had a crap-ton of things to print out for a training that I had to take online, something like 300 pages.  Plus 15 of my tenants are coming up on their anniversary date (ohmygosh...is it that time already???) and must re-certify.  There's all sorts of letters and attachments for that.  Anyway....I got a message from the printer/copier that it was running out of toner.  Two seconds later.....OUT OF TONER.  No real warning, no "mercy printing" nothing.  When that sucker says it's out, it's truly "out." 

I had an appointment at my old job, and I had papers for the person to sign.  Only I didn't have any papers.  Nor could I print them out there.  So I did the only thing I could think of to do....I drove the 15 minutes home and printed them at home.  Where I had like 8 sheets of paper (made it, whew!) and my printer was making sounds like a freshly bathed cat.  Only to drive to the appointment to have the people not show up.  Ah well.

The copier company wouldn't be able to deliver the ink until tomorrow, and I needed it YESTERDAY.  So the rep said that I could drive over to get it.  So I headed into the city, to a seedy neighborhood and parked in front.  Only to find out that I had dimes for the meter and it took quarters.  I decided to live dangerously, being on deadline and all, and bravely crossed the street.  One door says "use other door" and points to the right.  I try that door.  It's locked.  Things are starting to feel very "Alice in Wonderland."  No one seems to be in the office....so I mutter "I don't have time for this crap" as I'm pulling out my cellphone.  Someone answers, sees me at the door and is yelling to me.  Only I can't hear her because the damn glass is so thick.  (Bad neighborhood and all.)  Finally I get that she's saying "I'm sorry...I don't have the key."  What the hell???  How did she get in, then?  Finally she asks my name and yells to the guy in back.  And proceeds to give me directions to the back of the building, which are of course muffled.

Walking around to a secluded part of the building in that neighborhood is like the last thing I want to do.  Is "toner" a new term for drugs?    Now I'm officially  a pissed off chick on a MISSION!  So I work my way to the back of the building, and the copier sales guy is there with my toner.  He's all apologetic, and tells me that "eight years ago his brother Roland changed the locks and refuses to give anyone a key."  Huh.  This is something that you could've mentioned on the phone, Dude.  "Come around back and give us a call."  Just sayin'.  But seriously too....eight years ago the locks were changed and no one has a key to the front door?  What in the hell would you do if there was a fire at the back of the building????? 

I go back to the office (without a parking ticket, thankyouverymuch) and proceed to wrestle with the toner and machine, only to discover that I'm trying to put it in upside-down.  I can't make this stuff up.  Now I've printed lots of things and I'm glad that ordeal is over! 

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