See Ya, 2015!

It's time for the annual sum-up-the-year post.  Here we go!

2015: A Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?

Let's see......I lost weight.  And put it on again by stress-eating.  The first part is something I'd never done before and the second is something I've done more than once.  I also got hearing aids last January.  It's been an adjustment but overall I couldn't be happier.    


2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make any.  And right now I have no plans for resolutions this year.  But never say never.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?  My niece Grace was born in August.  The first girl in a long time on Brian's side of the family.  She's a real cutie.

4. Did anyone close to you die?  Not this year.  


5. What countries/places did you visit?
Our family vacation was in New Hampshire this year, we needed a bit of a low-key vacation after Disney last year.  We haven't decided on vacation in 2016 yet, we'll work on that right after the holidays are over.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?

My older son was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder this year.  It was a long time coming and we're starting to understand better why he does the things that he does and how we can help.  We definitely need more, though, and are going to work harder on getting it in 2016.

7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 

Nothing super-noteworthy happened, not that I remembered the date for, anyway.


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Let's see.....I finished my Christmas knitting early!  That doesn't sound like much but trust me, it is.

9. What was your biggest failure?

No BIG failures, but certainly little ones.  That's ok, Failure is part of the process.  It's inevitable.


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?  It hasn't been too bad a year for that.  I did get the flu in February and miss a week of work, that was miserable.  Other than that....anything going on has been dealt with.  I can hear properly and I'm at my lowest risk for more kidney stones.  Can't ask for much more than that, I'm thankful that it's been a quiet year.  


11. What was the best thing you bought?

Honestly, I have no idea.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Anyone who does good deeds for their fellow humans.  Those are the people that news stories should be written about.  


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?Terrorists.  Donald Trump.  And people that text while driving.


14. Where did most of your money go?

I had no idea hearing aids were so damned expensive.  

15.  What did you really get excited about?

Yarn-related things.  Surprisingly, I was pretty stoked about my 20th HS reunion, which ended up being a lot of fun.  Something that both excited and saddened me:  my "baby" going to kindergarten.   

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Definitely happier.  The holidays were really tough last year.  Sometimes things were stressful/overwhelming this year, but overall it's been a much better year.   

b) thinner or fatter? about the same.  I want my 40th birthday gift to myself to be better health.  And that will start right after the holidays.  

c) richer or poorer? Both, rich in some ways and poor in others.  It all offsets in the end.

17. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Is there such a thing as too much knitting time??  :)  

18. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying about things that one cannot control.  Getting frustrated when trying to view the future in a crystal ball, only to find out that I don't HAVE a crystal ball.  

19. How did you spend Christmas?

We hosted a nice celebration at home.  It was unseasonably warm and pleasant, feeling more like springtime!  It's a little weird to have your windows open during the month of December and I never really thought that "the breeze knocking ornaments off the tree" would be a problem.  

20. Did you fall in love in 2015?

No.  But I continued to love.

21. What was your favorite TV program? 

I gave "Once Upon a Time" a whirl over the summer, binge-watching the first four seasons.  Also, The Big Bang Theory continues to be a favorite and I love the new half-hour comedy "Life in Pieces."

22. What was the best book you read?

According to my Goodreads account, I read 43 books.  Many of them are worth mentioning and I will do so in a separate post.  But of all of them.....my favorite would be "As You Wish:  Inconceivable Tales from the Making of the Princess Bride" by Cary Elwes.  It's one of my favorite movies and it was just amazing reading about the making of it from Westley.  


23. What was your greatest musical discovery?
That pop is good for exercise but swing or George Gershwin is good for cooking.  And I think I've always known this but know so even more now:  Christmas music is fun at first but then gets really, really old.  OH!  And I am still so surprised to discover that Garth Brooks tickets were attainable!

24. What was your favorite film of this year? 

I enjoyed "Divergent" but after that the series left me cold so I doubt I'll  see the other two films.  But my favorite?  "Inside Out" without a doubt.

25. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

It was a Saturday this year.  I spent it with my family and then drove down to Mohegan Sun in CT to celebrate it with my friend Maureen, my "birthday buddy."  Same birthday, only she's a year older.  


26. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

That's a tough call.  Better drivers around me?  Maybe.


27. What kept you sane?

Brian.  Making time for myself.  My kids.  


28. Who did you miss?

My far away friends and family.


29. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015:

"An empty cup can't fill other cups."  If you're not taking care of yourself, you have nothing to offer others.


30. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Dear reader, please excuse the language.  But Pink's "F*%ckin' Perfect" sums it up for me.  Minus the f-bombs it's exactly how I feel.  

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you are less than, less than fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you are less than, less than fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try try try
But we try too hard and it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don{t like my jeans; they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that

Why do I do that?
Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me, yeah
You're perfect, you're perfect
Oh pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothin' you're fuckin' perfect to me

It's Important to Laugh at Yourself

How I know that I do indeed need these hearing aids:

-I find out that I've been calling one of Will's friends moms "Elaine."  She is also the room mom for their class.  I got a notice home from school about the end-of-year class gift and wondered "Who the hell is Eileen??"

-Last week on the bus stop the kids and another mom were oohing and ahhing over an animal swimming in the reservoir across the street.  I looked around, scanning for the dog swimming.  I couldn't find it.  Oh my goodness.....is the dog ok?  Dogs are good swimmers, right?  I HOPE I DIDN'T JUST WITNESS A DOGGIE DROWNING.  Yeah......it was a duck, not a dog.  You can imagine the bewildered looks I got when I voiced my concern.  Guess who ran out of the house without her hearing aids?

How I know that I'm old:

-When relaying the first example to Brian, I finished with "Elaine and Eileen are pretty similar, you know.  Even hearing folks make that mistake."  Hearing folks.  Sheesh.  Come to think of it, I've also started referring to going shopping as "heading to the Walmart."  It's a downward slide from here, my friends!  

Wired for Sound

I got my hearing aids last week, and so far here is what I've observed....

1.  I don't like hearing my own voice constantly.  I'm told that will fade with time, but for now it's slightly annoying.

2.  At first my ears were BIONIC.  I could almost hear someone putting quarters in the washing machine down the hall with the door closed.  But loud noises were shocking, the first time the doorbell rang at work I almost jumped to the ceiling!

3.  They're  cute and tiny:

And unless I tell you about them, you won't notice that I'm wearing them.  The purple part goes behind the ear so all that's visible is the clear wire.  And unless you're specifically looking for it, you're likely to miss it.

I have a strict rule (for now), either in the case or in my ears.  I also took them out and showed them to the boys, because I knew that they were curious.  And now they're not...and therefore less likely to touch them.

4.  Nobody's been able to sneak up on me since I got them.  This used to be a serious problem since I'm such a jumpy person.  But I can HEAR behind me now.  The first time I heard a conversation behind me was walking into Target last week.  A father was chiding his two daughters for not wearing hats in the cold weather.  I almost cried because of it.

5.  The volume level on the TV and the radio in the car has gone down substantially.  When I first turned the radio on my "normal" volume, I was shocked at how loud it was.

6.  And best of all....I can hear my boys.  Especially Sean, who talks softly in the backseat, asking for music or telling me about Minecraft.

So all in all, it's not so bad.  It's a bit of an inconvenience but worth it thus far.

Apparently, I'm a Secret Agent

So.

I mentioned in my 2014 wrap-up post that I've got some hearing loss.  I'm not losing all of my hearing, just the middle frequency where conversation lies.  This type of hearing loss is called Cookie Bite Hearing Loss.  Let's face it, it's a cute name for something that kinda sucks.

How did I find this out?  Well.....Hubby was telling me like a year ago that I wasn't hearing things that he or the kids were saying.  I got pretty defensive, telling him that he mumbles.  And he DOES, just not as often as I thought that he was.  I insisted that my younger son is a soft talker, and he IS, but not as softly as I think that he is.  And if he's talking to me in the car, I can't hear him over the engine.  I don't listen to the radio in the car a lot anymore, I used to think it was because I enjoyed the silence.  Turns out that IS true, because my brain is tired from trying to parse out what everyone is saying.  And I was starting to stay home from things, to spare myself from not being able to hear anything from the damn background noise.

So when an audiologist was coming to my work for screenings (I work in elderly housing) I said "hey while you're here...." and was blown away when she told me that I had profound hearing loss and "would greatly benefit from hearing aids."  Honestly, I found it devastating, especially on the tail of just finding out that my kidney stones are caused by a disorder.  It was like a big "What NOW???"  I've had some time to mourn it and I've ordered my hearing aids.  They're small, but I ordered them with a "vivid lilac" plastic casing.  Because you know what?  If you are going to have to deal with this crappy thing, you should at least have some outrageous personality about it.  I pick them up Tuesday.

I found this blog, "The Cookie Bite Chronicles."  I recognize myself in all of them (minus the hearing aid ones, but I'm sure I'll get there.) To get an idea of what life's been like, read this post.   All the nodding and smiling.......I won't miss that.

I know that I feel crappy about it right now, but I'm sure that I will feel differently this time next year.  Especially when I can tell Brian that he still mumbles. :)