2017: A Year in Review

It doesn't feel like the end of the year without the Review!

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

After many years of hemming and hawing, I got my first tattoo!  It's a heart on my right wrist, made up by the boys' fingerprints.  I love it!!  I THINK I may be a "one and done" when it comes to tattoos, though.  

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I'm not a "New Year's Resolution" type of person.  I'm more of a "Make Plans and Goals" kind of person.  That being said....i made a goal of being healthier.  In some ways I did well--started drinking protein smoothies for breakfast and cutting back on the ice cream.  Then my stress-eating tendencies came out late in the year and well, My Fitness Pal shows me to be the same weight as I was last year at this time.  Turns out I'm a fantastic maintainer.  Goals for 2018?  Wag more, bark less.  Maybe get some more sleep, who knows.  

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?  I covered maternity leave for one of my co-workers, she had a baby in June.  

4. Did anyone close to you die?  Not close anymore, but one of the residents at my first property management job died in September.  We kept in touch for ten years after my leaving that job.  She was a wonderful person who dispersed fantastic advice, I'll miss her.  Traveling to that site will be weird, not stopping in to say Hi.  


5. What countries/places did you visit?

We had an AWESOME trip to Disney World in June!!  Can't wait to go again in a few years.  

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?
Honestly, 2017 was a shit show in a lot of ways.  I'd like for 2018 to be a kinder, gentler year for my family.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?   On October 19th, my mother had a small stroke.  Things ended up being OK with time, but it was rough.  

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Instead of achievements, I'm going to call them lessons.  

A.  When it comes to your kids, it's amazing how strong you can be.  Especially when strength is all you've got, and what you really want to do is fold or crumble, but you stand strong.  

B.  I've always had a hard time asking for, and accepting, help.  I think it's because I'm usually doing to the offering and helping.  But when it hits the fan, you have to learn to let people help you.  And man, I had a lot of help this year.  I've had friends and family members flock out to help us get through stuff, and I'm forever grateful. 

9. What was your biggest failure?
I refuse to call anything a failure this year.


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?  Nothing major.  


11. What was the best thing you bought?
For Mother's Day, Brian got me a cleaning service!  At first it was weird, but I cannot tell you how wonderful it is for someone to come to your house once a month and clean your bathrooms, floors, etc.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Skip.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Donald Trump, and many of his supporters.  Actually, the supporters were more appalling.   (this answer is too good not to keep)

14. Where did most of your money go?

Living expenses.  Pretty boring, right?  

15.  What did you really get excited about?

Disney World....and Universal Studios to see Harry Potter's Wizarding World.

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? A big ol' mix of all of it.

b) thinner or fatter? Right about the same.  (BTW, I hate this question.)

c) richer or poorer? Both, rich in some ways and poor in others.  It all offsets in the end.

17. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Read.  Knit.  Socialize.  Maybe not in that order....

18. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Work.  I took on a second property in May, and I covered a maternity leave and a manager vacancy this summer as well.  At one point I was providing coverage for FIVE SITES, bringing work home often, working long hours, going back after dinner, etc.  I often wondered "just how in the hell are you doing this, Ginny?"  But I knew all along that it was just for the short-term, and the bonus at the end of the year was worth it!

19. How did you spend Christmas?

We had a big family celebration at my house a few days before, and then my parents came on Christmas Day.  

20. Did you fall in love in 2017?

I've been in love with the same man for 19 years.  NINETEEN YEARS, holy crap.  

21. What was your favorite TV program? 

Eh....nothing really grabbed me to be a "favorite."  Though I do love that Will and Grace came back with new episodes!  

22. What was the best book you read?

I read 26 books, which sounds kind of low for me.  I really enjoyed "The Nest" by Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney.  


23. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Pass.  

24. What was your favorite film of this year? 

The four of us recently went to the movies to see the reboot of the 90's film "Jumanji" and loved it!

25. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

For the first time in 12 years, I worked!  The residents had a cake for me, which was really nice.  I took the following day off so Brian and I could spend it together.  We ended up watching Wonder Woman and going out to lunch.  

26. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less stress and worry.  Getting my son the help that he needed sooner.  But hindsight IS 20/20, and not worth it to dwell.  


27. What kept you sane?
My friends, that checked up on us, fed us, offered help, listened, offered advice when appropriate.  My mom, for being there when my husband couldn't.  My husband, for his shoulder to cry on, and his jokes to keep us both sane. 


28. Who did you miss?
My far away friends and family.


29. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:
Never ask "Could this get any worse?"  And above all, be grateful.  



30. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I don't know.

Me vs. The Stone, 2.0

Say it with me, ugh.

Over the summer, at a follow-up with my nephrologist (read:  kidney doc)  I mentioned that I had a tiny bit of pain in my back.  I chalked it up to being in the car to and from Philly three weekends in a row.  "Perhaps," said the doctor, "But let's get an ultrasound just to be sure."

First, one ultrasound.  Then another, a week later, to confirm a "hydro" or whatever they said.  Something like a back-up of fluid into my right kidney.  Then, a catscan!  I know this dance....and I suspect it's not going to lead to good things.

I was right.

Catscan confirmed that I had one kidney stone in the tube between the kidney and the bladder on the right side.  It was lodged in there tight and appeared to be one centimeter in size.  Say it with me:  "Holy Crap!!"  It was determined that I would need to repeat the surgery that I had two years ago.  Boooooo.....hissssssss.  Surgery was booked for September, with a follow-up surgery scheduled for October.  Apparently, the surgeon (who is wonderful and I can'y say enough good things about) is very busy taking care of stones in the Central Mass Area.  Surgery got moved around a bit, and finally on October 19th, I went in.

There were two stones.  They got 'em.  No second surgery needed!  Now, I did not take off enough time last time to recover, so I took a week this time.  It ended up not being enough, I came home sick on my second day of work and took another weekend to recover.  Anesthesia is hard, man.  So is having a stent in your kidney that's constantly rubbing and you have to keep it for two weeks.  At my follow-up to have it removed I was just like "Get it out, I don't care how."

So.  Today is the first day that I have any energy.  I've been tired at the end of the day but that's to be expected.  I have to keep reminding myself not to wear myself out, not that that's easy!

People also tell me that I look a lot better than before I went in.  Apparently I was really pale and tired-looking.  I didn't really believe that, till I saw photographic evidence.

 Week before surgery, at Rhinebeck.  (See the shawl?  lol)  

Three days after surgery, at Trunk or Treat.  Not my most flattering pic, with my lovely hair, no makeup and Sean's SWAT helmet that he ditched.  But I see a badass who pulled it together to go out with her family.  And I've already got some color back in my cheeks.  Or perhaps that's the painkillers.  (kidding)

So I have to do some follow-up in six weeks.  Hopefully they'll be able to adjust my RTA (renal-tubular acidosis) medications and we can put this lovely chapter behind me.  

See Ya, 2015!

It's time for the annual sum-up-the-year post.  Here we go!

2015: A Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?

Let's see......I lost weight.  And put it on again by stress-eating.  The first part is something I'd never done before and the second is something I've done more than once.  I also got hearing aids last January.  It's been an adjustment but overall I couldn't be happier.    


2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make any.  And right now I have no plans for resolutions this year.  But never say never.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?  My niece Grace was born in August.  The first girl in a long time on Brian's side of the family.  She's a real cutie.

4. Did anyone close to you die?  Not this year.  


5. What countries/places did you visit?
Our family vacation was in New Hampshire this year, we needed a bit of a low-key vacation after Disney last year.  We haven't decided on vacation in 2016 yet, we'll work on that right after the holidays are over.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?

My older son was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder this year.  It was a long time coming and we're starting to understand better why he does the things that he does and how we can help.  We definitely need more, though, and are going to work harder on getting it in 2016.

7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 

Nothing super-noteworthy happened, not that I remembered the date for, anyway.


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Let's see.....I finished my Christmas knitting early!  That doesn't sound like much but trust me, it is.

9. What was your biggest failure?

No BIG failures, but certainly little ones.  That's ok, Failure is part of the process.  It's inevitable.


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?  It hasn't been too bad a year for that.  I did get the flu in February and miss a week of work, that was miserable.  Other than that....anything going on has been dealt with.  I can hear properly and I'm at my lowest risk for more kidney stones.  Can't ask for much more than that, I'm thankful that it's been a quiet year.  


11. What was the best thing you bought?

Honestly, I have no idea.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Anyone who does good deeds for their fellow humans.  Those are the people that news stories should be written about.  


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?Terrorists.  Donald Trump.  And people that text while driving.


14. Where did most of your money go?

I had no idea hearing aids were so damned expensive.  

15.  What did you really get excited about?

Yarn-related things.  Surprisingly, I was pretty stoked about my 20th HS reunion, which ended up being a lot of fun.  Something that both excited and saddened me:  my "baby" going to kindergarten.   

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Definitely happier.  The holidays were really tough last year.  Sometimes things were stressful/overwhelming this year, but overall it's been a much better year.   

b) thinner or fatter? about the same.  I want my 40th birthday gift to myself to be better health.  And that will start right after the holidays.  

c) richer or poorer? Both, rich in some ways and poor in others.  It all offsets in the end.

17. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Is there such a thing as too much knitting time??  :)  

18. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying about things that one cannot control.  Getting frustrated when trying to view the future in a crystal ball, only to find out that I don't HAVE a crystal ball.  

19. How did you spend Christmas?

We hosted a nice celebration at home.  It was unseasonably warm and pleasant, feeling more like springtime!  It's a little weird to have your windows open during the month of December and I never really thought that "the breeze knocking ornaments off the tree" would be a problem.  

20. Did you fall in love in 2015?

No.  But I continued to love.

21. What was your favorite TV program? 

I gave "Once Upon a Time" a whirl over the summer, binge-watching the first four seasons.  Also, The Big Bang Theory continues to be a favorite and I love the new half-hour comedy "Life in Pieces."

22. What was the best book you read?

According to my Goodreads account, I read 43 books.  Many of them are worth mentioning and I will do so in a separate post.  But of all of them.....my favorite would be "As You Wish:  Inconceivable Tales from the Making of the Princess Bride" by Cary Elwes.  It's one of my favorite movies and it was just amazing reading about the making of it from Westley.  


23. What was your greatest musical discovery?
That pop is good for exercise but swing or George Gershwin is good for cooking.  And I think I've always known this but know so even more now:  Christmas music is fun at first but then gets really, really old.  OH!  And I am still so surprised to discover that Garth Brooks tickets were attainable!

24. What was your favorite film of this year? 

I enjoyed "Divergent" but after that the series left me cold so I doubt I'll  see the other two films.  But my favorite?  "Inside Out" without a doubt.

25. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

It was a Saturday this year.  I spent it with my family and then drove down to Mohegan Sun in CT to celebrate it with my friend Maureen, my "birthday buddy."  Same birthday, only she's a year older.  


26. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

That's a tough call.  Better drivers around me?  Maybe.


27. What kept you sane?

Brian.  Making time for myself.  My kids.  


28. Who did you miss?

My far away friends and family.


29. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015:

"An empty cup can't fill other cups."  If you're not taking care of yourself, you have nothing to offer others.


30. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Dear reader, please excuse the language.  But Pink's "F*%ckin' Perfect" sums it up for me.  Minus the f-bombs it's exactly how I feel.  

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you are less than, less than fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you are less than, less than fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try try try
But we try too hard and it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don{t like my jeans; they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that

Why do I do that?
Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me, yeah
You're perfect, you're perfect
Oh pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothin' you're fuckin' perfect to me

Trigger Happy

Everyone has their trigger foods, certain foods that if they're in the house, they're as good as gone.  Mine are fudgesicles, toaster strudel and mini peanut butter cups. One taste of any of those things and I will NOT REST until they're all gone.  I used to think a binge was eating the food all in one sitting.  I'm wrong.  I may take a little while to eat it, but it will be gone before the end of the day.

We can add a new food to the list.  I'm never buying these chips again.

 I ate the whole friggin' bag in the course of a workday.  I bought it because they're "healthier," with no artificial ingredients, blahblahblah.  Now I have an empty bag and no appetite for dinner.  Blah!

Wired for Sound

I got my hearing aids last week, and so far here is what I've observed....

1.  I don't like hearing my own voice constantly.  I'm told that will fade with time, but for now it's slightly annoying.

2.  At first my ears were BIONIC.  I could almost hear someone putting quarters in the washing machine down the hall with the door closed.  But loud noises were shocking, the first time the doorbell rang at work I almost jumped to the ceiling!

3.  They're  cute and tiny:

And unless I tell you about them, you won't notice that I'm wearing them.  The purple part goes behind the ear so all that's visible is the clear wire.  And unless you're specifically looking for it, you're likely to miss it.

I have a strict rule (for now), either in the case or in my ears.  I also took them out and showed them to the boys, because I knew that they were curious.  And now they're not...and therefore less likely to touch them.

4.  Nobody's been able to sneak up on me since I got them.  This used to be a serious problem since I'm such a jumpy person.  But I can HEAR behind me now.  The first time I heard a conversation behind me was walking into Target last week.  A father was chiding his two daughters for not wearing hats in the cold weather.  I almost cried because of it.

5.  The volume level on the TV and the radio in the car has gone down substantially.  When I first turned the radio on my "normal" volume, I was shocked at how loud it was.

6.  And best of all....I can hear my boys.  Especially Sean, who talks softly in the backseat, asking for music or telling me about Minecraft.

So all in all, it's not so bad.  It's a bit of an inconvenience but worth it thus far.

Let's Get Moving

In my annual New Year's post, I said that I wanted to spend 2014 getting healthier.  Let's face it....I'm not as healthy as one could be.  So in that end, I've done a couple of things.

I joined a yoga workshop.  I tried it out last year as part of my Day Zero list, and decided to make it a habit.  So every Sunday you can find me at a yoga studio 25 miles away from my house, stretching into forms like the Cat Stretch, Reverse Table-Top, Warrior and Child's Pose.  You can do a pay-as-you-go plan, dropping into classes and paying a fee.  But I know myself, and if I pay up front I'm more likely to go.  And yes, there are yoga studios closer to home; I chose this one because it's all plus-size women so I don't feel so self-conscious.  Additionally, the instructor modifies things for people like me with herniated discs, or other people with arthritis, fibromyalgia, etc.  I really am enjoying it!

Something surprising has come out of yoga for me....it leads me to want to do better in my quest for health!  I am making it a priority to add more fruits and veggies, and for the first time in my life I actually want to exercise more.  Most mornings I find myself doing strength exercises or a yoga pose or two while waiting for the shower to warm up.  It's only five minutes or so, but every bit counts, right?  And once all this damn snow melts I want to walk more.  I'm actually looking into my daily routine to find pockets of time for this already, there are two tracks here in town and I'm pretty sure that I could get around one a few times before work a couple mornings a week.  And this may be the winter blues taking again, but I want to be outside!  I've never been an outdoorsy type, so this surprises me.  The house that we bought came with a basketball hoop in the driveway, and I'm going to buy a ball and throw it around with the kids.  Again, not a lot of exercise but it is something!  And this summer, I want to go to some of the state parks, and maybe even try an easy hike.  If mindset is part of the battle, then I'm getting there.

I've also started seeing a chiropractor for the sciatica, which reared its ugly head in the past month or so.  Again.  I forget how much that pain hurts when I don't have it.  I never thought I'd want to see a chiropractor, I've kind of always thought of them as a bunch of hooey.  But I'm at the end of my rope...heat wasn't helping, ice only helped a little, and I can't take Aleve forever.  It was this before I decided that I would give in and get the cortisone injections in my spine, I wanted to be able to say I tried everything before it came to that.  So far, I've been to two visits and I'll admit, the first one was a bit scary.  But I felt SO MUCH BETTER after the first visit!  The night before I was in tears from the pain, and the next day I could feel it at the end of the day but it was much less intense.  So I think it's worth it to keep going and see how I feel before more medical intervention.  See that?  I'm eating my own words, and they don't taste that bad.

I think one of the reasons that things are going well right now is because I am not making this about weight loss.  Sure, I could still stand to lose weight.  But I'm not putting all of my focus on just THAT.  These two things  are a small contribution to the journey to health that lies ahead but for the first time, I feel like I am getting somewhere.